Happy Holidays

New Apple ad

Fenix

250mph

Bugatti Veyron at top speed - Watch more free videos

For Shihan

Firefighter suffers?

Dealing with telemarketers

darlugo.com

Why You Shouldnt Drink And Bike

http://view.break.com/396809 - Watch more free videos

Rocky Explained

Trust the I.T. Department

cool videos

Bored @ Work

 

Bored At Work - Watch more free videos

The perfect girl

Song For The Perfect Girlfriend - Watch more free videos

Let us respect gray hairs, especially our own.

Today is my birthday.

Wilst sitting here clearing out some emails, I got a you tube link and it really put a smile on my face. Thought I'd share:



Fenix

Dumb people are breeding

THE BEST NON-JUMP EVER - Watch more free videos

Fenix

Best Man

Funniest Best Man Speech Ever - Watch more free videos

Fenix

Pigeons beware

Motion Activated Sprinkler Vs Pigeons - Watch more free videos

My brother stopped by......

Had a visit from my...unique brother today. While having general discussions somehow we ended up talking about jackasses that hit women. Here's how it went:

Mrs Fenix - yea, I heard you like to smack women
Brother - What?! Who said that??
Mrs Fenix - I dunno, it's what I heard
Fenix - Idiot, she's kidding
Brother - No, really, who said it?
Fenix - No one!
Brother - Are you sure, cause there was that time at the Tool concert in the mosh pit....
Mrs Fenix - What!?
Fenix - What!?
Brother - She came out of nowhwere and knocked me on my ass, and I dropped my beer. When I looked up she was laughing....
Mrs Fenix - You didn't?
Fenix - oh boy
Brother - So I waited till the pit died down a little and spotted her and her boyfriend on the other side...
Fenix - uh oh
Brother - Just so happened that when I started running there was no one in my way and I kinda gave her a football type tackle....
Mrs. Fenix - You should be ashamed...
Fenix - Hold on hon, I'm sure he's not done...
Brother - ....I knocked her over the railing, then looked at her fu@#$in boyfriend and asked if he wanted some!
Fenix - told ya he wasn't done
Mrs Fenix - Did you get thrown out?
Brother - No, but I had to get another beer.


Fenix

DumbER kid alive?

Fenix

Why do I answer the phone?

Got a call from one of my brothers today;

 

Fenix: Hello?

Brother: Yo, waz up?

Fenix: Umm, nothing. I was sleeping. 

Brother: How you doin?

Fenix: Good, why?

Brother: How's your truck?

Fenix: Fine why?

Brother: Cause I just got a new Tow-truck.  *click*

 

Wishin I had Lo-Jack

Fenix

Barbie??

1 childs electric 4x4
1 large motorcycle battery

The look on your friends face when he steps on the petal and gets thrown onto his back.......PRICELESS





built by OLDS70

Fenix

Hunting with FreeMoz

SEE MORE: Funny Videos | Funny Cartoons | Comedy Central

Robot Chicken

Finally got time to post the Robot Chicken Star Wars episode. It's split into three parts so start at the bottom.

And "Bob the fisherman" is new as well.

Fenix

Robot Chicken Star Wars 3/3

Robot Chicken Star Wars 2/3

Robot Chicken Star Wars 1/3

Bob the fisherman

Though this guy has his own Tv show. He DOES have the worst luck!


Bill Dance New Bloopers - Watch more free videos

Fenix

Gods Inbox

2 Drunks

I would LOVe to hear them explain WHY they need the log.

 

FreeMoz, are these people you know?

 

Ghost riding Miss Daisy

I just could not believe this! Too funny



Fenix

Squirrel Impossible

As I suspected, there IS something going on! Check the specialized training that some "nut-lovers" get!



Fenix

The search continues...

Great mysteries

From the Unsolved mystery files;

Has anyone every seen a squirrel shit? I mean, they must right? And the ground should be littered with little squirrel droppings right?

There is something going on here, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!


Fenix

Chuck Storm

It's gotta be something about the name "Chuck" that draws out the very best in people.


Chuck Storm Walks Into A Poll - Watch more free videos

Fenix

Brilliant Car Mod

I definatly want one of those!!


The Disappearing Car Door - Watch more free videos


Fenix

Bad Day

You know your having a bad day when....




Fenix

I'm back

Surgery went great, recovery went better than expected.

And of course I had a thought.......


Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?


Fenix

Guts Vs. Balls

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each is listed below ....

GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say: "You're next."

I hope this clears up any confusion on the subject


Fenix

Owned on TV Live

Here is a sure fire way to lose your job. BUT, Fenix says, that if your gonna go out, go out BIG!



Nacy Grace gets owned on her own show - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Rehab Center for Fictional Characters

Rehab Center for Fictional Characters - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

How about Duct tape?

Fudrucker1, Fatalfastlane, and halocruiser are on their cro9ss country drive and dropped this little nugget into the ole mail chute

Please, take the survey

One annoying thing about surfing the web is that often you see this little pop-up

"Please take a survey to help us serve you better"

Well, your buddy Fenix bites the bullet once again, Fenix takes the survey so YOU don't have to!

And I truly do npt mind when there are little nuggets like this stuck in there:







This is one set from one of my favorite podcasts, Diggnation. Hosted by Alex Albrect and Digg founder Kevin Rose.



Another plus was that if you DID take the survey then at the end you would see a picture of Kevin Roses dream girl!

Budbowl

Remember that classic commercial from that beer comapany with the signature horses playing football? Well I forgot about this one, it has a little twist.



Enjoy,
Fenix

Slammy Whammy golf club

I miss Super Dave Osbourne. He was so funny.
This is one of my favorite bits that he ever did



Fenix

People who annoy you

A friend (Chad) turned me on to this clip from a previous South Park episode.

Send complaints to Comedy Central please




Fenix

If ancient Rome had the Internet...




The destruction of Pompeii in 79AD is the most viewed video at YouTube. The first comment is..."OMG so cool! Volcanos ROCK!"

Attila the Hun has his own MySpace page. Nobody ever rejects his "invite a friend" emails.

The soothsayer's "Ides of March" email fails to get Caesar's proper attention as it's inadvertently filtered into his junk folder.

But at least Caesar's "Et tu Brute?" comment is available as a free ringtone download.

The domain gladiator.rome sells for the record sum of 1,000,000 denarii.

The owner of hadriansucks.rome is compelled to hand over both the domain name and selected body parts by an independent domain tribunal chaired by...Emperor Hadrian.

"Naked Cleopatra" is the top search term on Google.

Unfortunately, the Queen of Egypt dies an early death after misunderstanding IT's call to embrace an ASP solution.

Hannibal blogs his way across the Alps with posts like, "Whoops, lost another elephant today."

But he runs out of money when his PPC budget is plundered by an iberian click scam organized by Publius Cornelius Scipio.

Tiber.com opens, initially selling scrolls and tablets before expanding to include togas, pottery, and do-it-yourself mosaic kits.

Websites like handsome-literate-male-british-slave.com pollute the search listings thanks to generous commissions at the slaves.co.rome affiliate program.

Roman programmers moan about projects outsourced to cheap coders in Mesopotamia.

The Colosseum is renamed the eBay Colosseum, with free wireless hotspots outside the lark's tongue restaurant.

The volume of spam collapses when the penalty for not providing a working opt-out mechanism becomes equal billing with the lions at the eBay Colosseum.

But we still get emails featuring Brunhilda, the lonely Visigoth, and hot deals on cheap peacock livers from Gaul.

Nobody invents a spam filter good enough for the House of the Vestals.

Classical geeks wear t-shirts proclaiming, "there's no place like CXXVII.0.0.I" (bonus points if you get that one)

Finally, Rome burns to the ground while Emperor Nero battles online with Hakkar the Soulflayer in World of Warcraft.

It's not what it seems, really.

Sometimes while surfing the net you start zoning out. You just start clicking on links, one after another, hoping to get to that final product/guide/picture/download that you were looking for. Only to find yourself clicking on other, more interesting links. Finally you snap out of it a few minutes later and wonder..."how the f&#@ did I get here!??"

That's what's up with the "personal ads" posts

I'm not lonely

BTW
Chcuk Norris has two speeds, walk and kill.


Fenix

[this space for rent]

.......I really have nothing to say about this one. I tried to think of some witty Title but this clip just speaks for it self.......







Enjoy

Fenix

Chuck Norris uses a hedgehog as a pillow

Frogger for Humans

Enjoy,
Fenix

No more DRM?

I just heard that one of the big for music labels has FINALLY agreed to sell non-DRM'd music on the Apple iTunes store. The label is EMI and they have agreed to start selling their entire library on ITMS no DRM.

Here's the catch....

All EMI songs will be 99 cents with DRM. If you want the ones without DRM then those tracks will cost $1.29.

This is a good thing. The non DRM music will be more expensive (.30) but it will also be in a better bit rate (256k). I will definatly take a 30 cent hit for non DRM AND better quality.

Now, for all of those Apple haters...........Apple (for a limited time) will allow you to upgrade all existing songs in your library from EMI to the higher bit rate, non DRM'd music for 30 cents.

Could this be the light at the end of the tunnel?

Discuss........



Fenix

Now back to the regulary scheduled program..........

Let's kick things off with one that made me cringe....in a good way. I saw this one on a "Around the net" segment from G4TV. You can find the link in iTunes.


Kid Has Really Stretchy Skin - Click Here for more great videos and pictures!

Enjoy,

Fenix

Out to Lunch

Ladies and Gentelmen, boys and girls, children of all ages, Chris Fenix will be taking his yearly break before I get to burnt out.

I will be off the grid till Tuesday.

For those that aren't in the know. Those of us that are what you may call "geeks" spend ALLOT of time on the net. Doing our jobs. Answering questions and doing research. Well after awhile we need to "unplug" and get off the grip completly. That means no computers, no cell phone (except for emergencys), no electronics at all. (Though I might be seen on Xbox Live at night).

Anyone that spends more than 8 hours a day online or infront of a computer I would strongly recommend doing this, it's a nice break.

I will talk to you all again REAL soon, but I will leave you with this:

In God we trust, all others we virus scan.




Fenix

New Skywalker Ranch CGI

Fenix

Dad of the year

Fenix

Things to do in an elevator

-When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

- Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

- Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

- Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Freemo. How's it going?"

- Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!!!"

- Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

- Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking?

- Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

- Ask, "Did you feel that?"

- Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

- When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."

- Swat flies that don't exist.

- Tell people that you can see their aura.

- Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.

- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

- Open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, Got enough air in there?"

- Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

- Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

- Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."

- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the passengers, "This is my personal space


This was from a old email.

Fenix

Snickers

streetfire.net

Here's one for FatalFastlane.



Fenix

Healing Nicely

Reason to buy a DeLorean

I heard this on a podcast I listen to. But you just need to look at the last option, the Free one!

I'll definatly take one. Now I just need to find some FLAT pavement LONG enough in R.I. to get that bad boy up to 88 mph!!










Fenix

Desktop of the future

Profiling?

Could this simply be a case of mistaken identity, or has the mighty chewbacca gone down the same path as the different stroke kids.

Rednecks make me chuckle

Fenix

Shanes new gal

Just wanted everyone welcome ShaneBAMF's new girlfriend to the group. Welcome!!














Fenix

Supermaket marketing

A new supermarket opened with a nice little twist. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

Infortunatly, I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

Fenix

Thug life

Sorry, Can't remember who sent this in.



Top 10 reasons why there are no Thugs in NASCAR:

# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.

# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.

# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.

# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up
pants at the same time.

# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale JR.

# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.

# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.

# 3 - No Cadillac's approved for competition.

# 2 - Can't wear helmet sideways.

AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY THUGS CAN'T BE IN
NASCAR...

# 1 - When they crash their cars, they bail out and
run.



Fenix

Dirty Dirty

Ahhh, how true this is

Fenix

Sorry

Bedtime Prayer

Womans Prayer

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Man's Prayer

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a game store and a Dunkin Donuts. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit


Fenix

Summary of my last year online

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in the
glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same
reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can
remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking a man along to watch the car
so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face...disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually
Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda ,
Singapore , and Uzbekistan .

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have
their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown
African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when
it bites my butt.

Thank you too for all the endless advice Andy Rooney has given us.. I can
live a better life now because he's told us how to fix everything.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 I dropped in
the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester
waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Oh, and don't forget this one either! I can no longer drive my car
because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM
this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician...

Have a wonderful day....

A South American scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with insufficient brain and sexual activity read
their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late


Fenix

Aries Spears gets Nice

Comedian from MadTv, Aries Spears, is on some radio talkshow where he shows off his talent for impersonating rappers.

Damn he's good

Fenix

Frozen Beer

Just thought I'd pass this on. Now I KNOW some of you will try this, so please feel free to use the comments section to let us know how it worked.






Fenix

Say it isn't so

Wanted to dedicate this one to Petal. Who unfortunatly cannot get online right now because of all the snow.

Being snowed isn't that bad unless THIS happens

Fenix

Wii accidents running wild

When will Nintendo stop the insanity!

It's just not safe

Fenix

Top 10 times in history when the "F" word was appropriate

‘Top Ten Times In History when using the "F" word was appropriate:’
10) "What the *&%# was that?" -Mayor of Hiroshima

9) "Where did all these *&%#ing Indians come from?" -Custer

8) "Any *&%#ing idiot could understand that." -Einstein

7) "It does SO *&%#ing look like her!" -Picasso

6) "How the *&%# did you work that out?" -Pythagorus

5) "You want WHAT on the *&%#ing ceiling?" -Michaelangelo

4) "I don't suppose it's gonna *&%#ing rain." -Joan of Arc

3) "Scattered *&%#ing showers...my @ss!" -Noah

2) "I need this parade like I need a *&%#ing hole in my head!" -JFK

And the Number One Time...

1) Ah, come on. Who the *&%#s gonna find out? - Bill Clinton


Fenix

Drug effects on spiders

Redneck timeout

This is what happens when parents have time off for the holidays and kids have time off from school and daycare.

Fenix

2007

Welcome back everyone!!

I hope all of the flock had a safe and happy holiday. Let's start off the year with some simple New Years Resolutions.

Phoohy. I hate them. Everyone does the same ones, quit smoking, get in shape, clean out *blank*, drink less, etc etc etc.

How about we make more attainable goals. I'll start. :)

Fenix New Years Resolutions

1. I'm going to breath more

2. I'm going to yell at the children less by being at home less.

3. I will be nicer to RealCrazy (maybe)

4. Really, really try to stay awake while racing online.

5. I will get a coffee every morning from Dunkin Donuts.

See, not so hard. 5 easy resolutions that you can finish quickly with little effort and then feel great for the rest of the year while those that chose to can go sweat or starve themselves into submission.

Fenix