I'm back and taking over, not really, but I will give you some rants because Fenix doesn't like it when I go off script on the show.  Bringing the funny - FreeMoZ

Reap what you sow

To the greedy bastards in Congress:

I quit. I no longer wish to live in the "United" States of America that you have created. As you plot and maneuver to maintain your interest we suffer. You ARE NOT of the people. You are whores of the corporate interest. When the stores run out, your cupboards run bear, your vehicles stall, and your sycophants disappear, know that I will be laughing. 

 'Cause a country boy can survive.

I may not get to laugh for long, but the reverberations of my mirth will haunt you eternally.

Lamar Simmons

aka freeMoZ

Archive test

The more you look, the more you laugh

Too Funny

Old guy at the ATM, to no one in particular: I’m so horny the crack of dawn is nervous.

Fenix

Old but still funny

Did Martha Stewart say this?

Dog owner: I used to have a Rottweiler too, but he died. They don't have very long lifespans.
Coworker: That's because they are fueled by liquid hate and the fingers of small children.

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Is my brother the pilot?

Flight attendant, over loudspeaker: We will now be dimming the lights for the remainder of the flight.
(Lights dim)
Flight attendant, in deep, sexy voice: Are you in the mood to fly now? I thought so...

Southwest Airlines Flight
Austin, Texas

Best Peer Advisor Ever

Curious friend: Doesn't your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That's what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don't your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That's what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that's when he puts it in my butt.

Hoboken, New Jersey


Fenix